Bible Devotions

Codependency is Not Healthy

on October 17, 2008

So do this, my son, and deliver yourself; For you have come into the hand of your friend: Go and humble yourself; Plead with your friend. Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids. Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the hand of the fowler. Proverbs 6:3-5 NKJV

Let there be nothing a friend can use against you. Nor let them have power over you. Relationships can become unhealthy when one person takes more responsibility than the other. Each should carry their own burdens and bare their own weight in the relationship. The Bible teaches in Galatians 6:4-5: “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.” Each person is responsible for them self.

Have you ever done something for another when they really should have done it themselves? Immediately, a teenager who doesn’t do their chores comes to mind. The parent is so frustrated by the teen lack of motivation they end up doing the chores themselves, to keep the house neat and tidy. What does this teach the teen? It enables the teenage to be become irresponsible and selfishness. Not only that, but the teen believes if they wait long enough someone else will do the job. This is not good. In addition, to robbing the child of learning how to be a contributing member of a family/society, it does something to the parent too. It puts them in bondage, with the child in power over them.

It is clear from this verse we can’t let unhealthy relationships continue. We must take action. There’s an urgency we must heed. Just as we’re told in Ephesians not to let the sun go down on our anger, we are told not to sleep until this imbalance is resolved.

How do we approach the subject? We approach the other person in love with humility. Not demanding they change, but pleading with them to become better people. We need to be looking out for their best interests rather than our own. Seek forgiveness for trying to control things only they should control.

Lord Jesus you alone know what is best in every situation. Lead us by your Spirit to set our relationships in proper order. Reveal where we have taken too much responsibility and enable the other person to be responsible for them self. In your name we pray. Amen.

© Elizabeth Marks, author of ThinkOnIt Devotions and has a heart for encouraging others with God’s Word. For more devotions, bible studies and a recommended book store, visit today.


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